Manager's Conversation Guide

Ensure you have a private space and enough time for the discussion to take place.

Remember. If the reported incident involves serious allegations that could be considered harassment and violence, managers must ensure the safety of the employee(s) concerned and must, as soon as possible, contact and report the situation to the Harassment and Violence Centre of Expertise (HVCE) via the Human Resources Service Centre for advice and guidance adapted to the situation reported.

These situations are difficult to manage. Do not hesitate to consult the HVCE, OICM or your Labour Relations Advisor.

Even if the situation doesn't seem significant to you, it is for your employee. The feeling of being heard without being judged is the basis of resolution. The feeling of being ignored or that our concerns are not understood creates frustration and anger which leads to escalation of conflict and increases the need to use a formal complaint mechanism. The role of the manager is not to be the judge, but to foster resolution. At this stage, the manager may say: " As a manager, I take these situations seriously" or " Tell me more so I can understand what is going on" or " I can see that this situation makes you uncomfortable".

Listening doesn't mean agreeing or disagreeing. It is difficult for the manager to have a good idea of the situation because they don't know the other party's version, the context or the history. Don't let your prejudgement or the reputations of the parties influence your objectivity. Don't take sides. Avoid saying things like: "It was just a joke" or "You know how they are, they are like that with everyone."

Being empathetic means showing interest and concern for the other person, We can say: "I can see that this situation makes you angry", or "I understand that this situation creates a lot of stress for you, am I correct?"

Being sympathetic means approving the emotion of the other person by saying something like "I know how you feel" or "going through this must be terrible" or "I don't know how you can cope with that."The danger with sympathy is that you may lead the other person to believe that you agree with his/her version of facts, while you don't have all the facts.

Who, what, how, when, how often, where, context, witness, etc. are important questions. It is not an investigation, but you need to gather facts and relevant information. Avoid the "why" types of questions if possible. The information gathered will help you to fully understand the situation reported to you and could be useful to you later, depending on how the situation evolves.

In keeping with ESDC's Code of Conduct, and the ESDC Workplace Harassment and Violence Prevention Policy, the employee is encouraged to talk to the other person, even if it is sometimes difficult to do. Asking what action(s) the employee may have already taken will help you to understand the issue, identify what kind of support they will need and to plan for a solution. Ask, "How would you feel if you had to discuss the situation with the other person?" not, "Why haven't you spoken with the other person?"  Ask, "What kind of support would you need in order to do so?'' Inform the employee that an advisor from the Office of Informal Conflict Management (OICM) could help them plan for the difficult conversation or organise a facilitated discussion.

Ask, "How do you see this situation being resolved?" or "What kind of support do you need to deal with this difficult situation?".

Clearly identify the resolution options (formal and/or informal) that the person may consider. In addition, clarify whether the person is afraid to come to work or whether they need protection from reprisal. Consider whether you should separate the parties until the situation is resolved. Consult with an HVCE advisor or your Labour Relations Advisor prior to taking any measures.

Offer EAP as a support.

ESDC promotes prevention and early resolution of conflict using informal conflict resolution solutions like facilitated discussion and mediation. These processes are voluntary and confidential. Clarify with the employee that the use of informal resolution approaches does not restrict the individual from using formal recourse. Consult OICM to discuss appropriate ways to resolve this issue.

As a manager, you have an obligation to act. Even if the person requests confidentiality, you cannot guarantee it because, depending on the circumstances, you may need to take immediate action. Consult the HVCE or your Labour Relations Advisor. Say to the employee that you will manage this situation in collaboration with them and that they will be protected from reprisal. Also, state your expectations around the need to maintain confidentiality to protect the privacy of everyone involved and note that you are asking both parties to limit conversation about the situation to management, HVCE, EAP and union representatives.

Explain that as a manager, you must gather all the information before making a decision. Also, explain to the employee that, in addition to your assistance, various resources are available. Encourage them to seek support. Offer the HVCE, the EAP: 1- 800-268-7708 and the OICM, 1-866-382-7502.

Giving advice is a natural reaction when someone reports having difficulties. You have to resist. The person needs first to be heard, not to be told what to do. It is too soon to provide a solution. Stay in a listening mode as long as possible. Avoid saying: "if I were you" or "don't worry about that" Replace the "you should" by "I will".

Once you have the version of facts from both parties and/or you have consulted with the resources that are available to you, determine the appropriate actions that must be taken.

The offended person needs to know what the next steps are.Tell them what next steps you plan to take and, when applicable, that you will meet with the other person to have their version of facts. Plan a follow-up meeting right now. Respect your commitments.

Ensure you have a private space and enough time for the discussion to take place. You can say that you want to discuss an issue that has been brought to your attention by someone else. Set the meeting in the near future, the same day if possible, to avoid unnecessary stress.

You can say: "This person (you should name the person) brought to my attention that they felt offended (or other feelings) by some of your behaviours. This person alleges that (briefly describe the behaviour and the context). The purpose of this meeting is to discuss this situation with you and obtain your version of facts, so I can understand what happened and find a way to resolve the issue".

You can say: "As a manager, I care about respect and the wellbeing of the team. I take these situations very seriously and I have the obligation to address the situation. My objective is to be transparent and to gather all relevant information before making any decision".

The conversation will be easier if you concentrate on facts, behaviours and impacts with honesty and transparency. Avoid any type of judgement and labelling. Don't say: "You were rude with them" because it is not a fact, it is a judgement. Say: "The person felt offended when you said in front of co-workers that they were incompetent in managing this project." The facts are that the person felt this way because of certain behaviours.

Let the person explain what happened; the context, the behaviour and the intention behind it. Listen carefully. Who, what, how, when, how often, where, context, witness, etc. are important questions to understand the situation. It is not an investigation, but you need to gather facts and relevant information.

Be firm, honest and avoid having an accusatory or moralistic attitude. You are discussing an allegation, not the truth. No matter who is right and who is wrong, we need to discuss to foster common understanding and prevent escalation of the conflict. Everyone deserves respect and we need to protect the dignity of everyone involved.

You can ask: "How do you see the resolution of this situation" or "How do you see my role as a manager?" or "How can we reduce the risk of this situation occurring again?" or "Are you prepared to listen to this person if they agree to discuss it with you?" or "Would you agree to a facilitated discussion?"

Depending on the situation, set your expectations. Very often, offending behaviours are not isolated incidents and there is a risk of subsequent offences. You may indicate that this kind of behaviour and/or any form of reprisal will not be tolerated.

Set expectations around the need to maintain confidentiality to protect the privacy of everyone involved. Ask both parties to limit conversation about the situation to management, HVCE, EAP, and union representatives.

Explain that as a manager, you must gather all the information before making a decision. Also, explain to the employee that, in addition to your assistance, various resources are available. Encourage the person to seek support. Offer the HVCE, the EAP 1-800 268 7708 and the OICM 1-855-862-2198.

Giving advice is a natural reaction when someone reports having difficulties. You have to resist. The person needs first to be heard, not to be told what to do. It is too soon to provide a solution. Stay in a listening mode as long as possible. Avoid saying: "If I were you…" or "don't worry about that." Replace the "you should" by "I will".

Once you have the version of facts from both parties and/or you have consulted with the resources that are available to you, determine the appropriate actions that must be taken.

As a manager, you have the responsibility to take action. Once you have determined the best approach with the resources available to you, you can proceed with implementation. Please note that some conversations are difficult to have - a coach is accessible to you if needed. Contact OICM.

It is important to keep both parties informed of next steps. Be sure to schedule meetings to follow up with both individuals during and after implementing the solutions. Keep your promises. As a manager, you have a duty to ensure a healthy, safe and respectful work environment for everyone.