Routes of Safety

The Routes of Safety model is built on the belief that feeling safe is an essential treatment for those who have experienced various forms of hurt or trauma. Trauma changes and compromises our ability to feel safe within ourselves and the Routes of Safety was built to assist people in gaining more access to a felt sense of emotional safety.

There are eight Routes of Safety:

Inner Guidance
Structure & Certainty
Sensory Experiences
Quality Relationships
Protective Measures
Closeness & Proximity
Private Retreat
Common Humanity

The Routes of Safety model describes the ways we fluidly access safety. How we access safety (our route) depends on our lived experiences; our early emotional experiences, the trauma we’ve experienced and/or inherited, and our current relationships with ourselves and others. Find your routes by asking yourself: “What makes me feel safe?”

Inner Guidance

Using resources within oneself as a pathway to access and secure safety.

Looks Like

Cultivating presence
Building self-trust, confidence
Reframing thoughts
Writing & journaling
Reparenting yourself

Feels Like

Feeling your real feelings
Mindfulness, Meditation
Self-compassion
Soothing inner child
Grounding and being in your body

Sounds Like

"I can trust my own judgment."
"I know how to keep myself safe."
"I can soothe myself."
"I'm trying my best."

Structure & Certainty

Relying on predictability, probability, and risk-calculation to access and secure safety.

Looks Like

Calculating risk
Making a schedule to follow
Preferring a list
Carving out space and time
Excessive cleaning or organizing

Feels Like

Gaining certainty when uncertainty
Staying regulated by keeping busy
Needing something to do in order to stay regulated

Sounds Like

"I need to know."
"I need to have an answer."
"I want more choice and control."
"I feel secure knowing what's next."

Sensory Experiences

Using our sensory and somatic systems to reach a felt sense of safety and regulation.

Looks Like

Smelling a candle
Listening to nature or music
Cuddling a friend, partner, pet
Eating your favourite food
Watching the clouds

Feels Like

Nourishment,
relaxation, relief
Feeling your real feelings
Self-holding or self-brushing
Grounding, being in your body

Sounds Like

"What does my body need right now?"
"I'll put on the TV for background noise."
"I need to take some deep breaths."
"Where's my weighted blanket?"

Quality Relationships

Relying on connective and relational resources to reach a place of safety.

Looks Like

Having a strong sense of community and togetherness
Experiencing repair after rupture
Connection with others
Healing in relationships
Excessive cleaning or organizing

Feels Like

Having your needs met
Co-regulation
Attunement
Compassion and shared empathy
Intimate touch and playfulness to do in order to stay regulated

Sounds Like

"Other people can keep me safe."
"I'm able to trust others."
"Healing happens in relationships."
"People care about me too."
"I feel secure knowing what's next."

Closeness & Proximity

Decreasing the physical distance between yourself and another person or object to achieve a sense of regulation or safety.

Looks Like

Receiving a hug, giving a hug
Wanting or needing to be near others, needing touch
Having someone there just in case
Help is available if/when you need it

Feels Like

Being deeply held or swaddled
Security & protection
Aliveness & high energy connection
Increased intimacy through touch

Sounds Like

"I want more intimacy in my relationship."
"Can you stay close in case I need you?"
"Hey, just checking in. How are you?"
"Can we cuddle while watching this movie?"

Private Retreat

Increasing the physical distance between yourself and another person or object to achieve a sense of regulation or safety.

Looks Like

Needing quiet time/alone time
Gravitating to small, dark spaces
Enjoying being home alone
Escaping as avoidance
Escaping with a book, music or art

Feels Like

A sense of ease or comfort in retreat
Finding solace in darkness/at night
Needing to avoid to feel safe
Checking out, shutting down, dissociation

Sounds Like

"I'm safer alone or by myself."
"I prefer to be alone."
"Things are better kept private."
"Sorry, I was daydreaming!"

Protective Measures

Securing a felt sense of safety through internal or external sources of survival, security, or protection.

Looks Like

Setting boundaries with others
Relying on survival strategies to cope/stay alive
Self-sufficiency & pragmatism
Reconciliation & restorative justice

Feels Like

Ease, comfort, security
Radical honesty & vulnerability
Being physically protected
'Connecting by protecting'

Sounds Like

"Your safety matters to us."
"It's safe to say no."
"I know how to stand up for myself."
An apology with changed behaviour.

Common Humanity

Accessing a sense of safety and reassurance from our shared human experiences that shift our perspective, open up new possibilities, and reframe our current ways of living and knowing.

Looks Like

Being listened to, being believed
Allowing mistakes & imperfection
Sharing experiences (good & bad)
Making space for joy & humour & play

Feels Like

Being heard, seen, recognized, known
Reciprocity in vulnerability
Being good enough as you are
Sharing your feelings & opinion

Sounds Like

"Your accessibility needs matter here."
"I'm your ally in this."
"It's okay to say 'no'."
"You don't have to do it alone."
"I'm so proud of you!"
"I love being your friend."

My Routes of Safety: "What makes me feel safe?"

Route 1: __________________________

My preferred strategies:
___________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________
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Route 2: __________________________

Route 3: __________________________

Permission acquired from the owner to publish.